Truthfully

Despite the relentless destruction of our environment/us ...the planet we love, I walk through this incarnation 'praying,' visualising, for the manifestation of healing of the biosphere/end of parasitic war on life, Earth on a path for healing. It is not my choice to be broken hearted, admittedly. But I live to visualize the release of corruption: true civil(ization), caring inclusion, justice and peace. I struggle to believe that the chaos of our own destruction is at its tipping point, and will finally turn around. That humans are inherently good and that universal love will prevail becoming the cause, ultimately us (cooperating) saving ourselves from repre$$ion/extinction. I hope it is true, this seemingly popular belief of late that (this spring or summer)... the change will be triggered.

Heal the Earth

My Dream:  Heal depression, heal Earth.  In turn, All would be healed. 
What else matters?   ♥ ☄ ☮ ★

Ignorance is the True Fearmongering

I believe that we are going to overcome.  We will evolve to a higher being.  Love will be the cornerstone of our existence.

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The truth hurts. Ignorance is the true fearmongering. Geoengineering is part of the perpetration of the massive cover-up (attempt) to protect the electro-petro-chemical industries. Business as usual, twisted and steeped in sociopathic greed. Unconscionable damage is being done to Earth/Life by the use of geoengineering (HAARP) -- they bombard us with electro magnetic fields in conjunction with chemtrails (towards the control of weather). It is a player in Corporate/Government War (big profit for the few) - perpetrated on this planet and its biosphere, which is being contaminated and damaged continually - willfully - to death - and with acceleration daily. There is no thought to health or the future in this or any other of the parasitic onslaughts. Obviously our weather is in reaction. Geoengineering is causing rain/snow to contribute to the continual contamination of the soil, food and water.

Add in a few more issues, like fracking, war, pesticides & GMOs, the latest radiation meltdown, electro-petro energy technology - just a few more of the killer culprits. Never mind that all these hideous technologies are parasites, in the guise of employment for some, while enriching so few by killing off the rest of us, slowly but surely. Many continue to fight back - to raise awareness, and the masses are coming to realize at least on some level what is happening: People and our environment are being abused with no regard to consequence, and Life on Earth including humanity is being slowly, blatantly murdered.

In response to:
Chemically Nucleated Snow, What Is It? http://www.riseearth.com/2014/02/chemically-nucleated-snow-what-is-it.html

Where's that Crash Helmet?

around here somewhere...

Writer's Block & 4 Foods that can Fight Depression

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http://naturalsociety.com/4-foods-fight-depression/
in a perfect world...

Depression is the worst.  It's a killer.  I was lost.  Lost job, home, car, health and insurance, what little family, self-respect, independence...I'm So Sorry

Writers' Block: U No, I pulled down those years worth of the psychotic poetry, intending to edit and re-publish.  It was all up there, good, bad, ugly, a manic personal insomniac diary, unedited and disorganized, and thrown into the sky.  Because I grew to feel irresponsible, especially with the older depression/suicide poetry still out there.  (Yes, and psychiatric meds often have increased suicidal thoughts as a side effect.)  And my life had been pretty f**cked up.  Much of the writing was very childlike and naïve, all of it rushed through.  I had to make sure it was respectful.

The Real World?  That writing saved my life.  I O U.

Some of the writing is good, and brought me a quiet secret (and not) joy.  But it originated through being terribly lonely and alone in the 'real world', and surrendering to stay so for the duration.  (Pretty hopeless at making friends, too.)  And so I turned to music, in love with music, through strong creative imagination.  I made (intangible) 'friends.' It saved my life, and was powerfully beautiful.

Now I am totally stuck with a big ugly unpublished web, trying to edit totally disorganized psychotic writing and being embarrassed of a lot of it's parts.  I'm working on it but it has been painfully slow.

I am saved.  I escaped homelessness.  I am still alive.  Grateful 2 B.

But I am lost to write new material.  When I am inspired is mainly during the dreaded insomnia: I now have to be respectful, suffer quietly squelching inspiration to get back to sleep or the cat and 5 dogs wake up the good man who took me under his wing.  I have survived.  I am struggling.

Toxic Load

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I believe...Autism is caused by chemical/toxin, radiation, chemtrail, pesticide and electro magnetic poisoning.  Environmental degradation.  Corporate corruption.  'The toxic load.'  Neurological damage.  U.N. Directive Agenda 21.

Looking back on a half-century + of life, I think I developed mild autism.  Living in the Marshall Islands for 2 years in the early 60s must have caused some radiation exposure.  My father's work was toxic: secret military crap.  Even as a 3 year old kid I knew I hated myself but didn't know why.  (So add a psychically/spiritually toxic upbringing, etc.)  We moved around a lot over the world by the time we settled back in the States in the late 60s.

Vaccine Poisoning: When I left marriage 1 in '91 and lost all my belongings, U/Mass (Boston) made me take all my vaccines over again as my records were lost.  I got blasted with so much mercury and other toxins, never mind the diseases associated, was sick for weeks, and the neurological damage can't be calculated. 

The (agonizing) social anxiety has both gotten better in ways (understanding) and worse in others (developmentally).  But being bipolar has always been the focus when I got medical 'help'.  And this 'help' involved becoming more and more toxified with Rx medications.  I didn't know what else to do.  My goal was to get training and a decent job (try/fail/try again/fail/etc...).  Even struggling with the compulsion to protect others from my behavior and anxiety, and myself from further pain.

Humans are social creatures.  The isolation vicious cycle I've lived stuck in is self-imposed, but not voluntary.  Isolation is an extremely painful compulsion, that over time basically becomes its own dis-ease. 

The meds effectively made me forget.  Memory: gone.  It's not like I wasn't told this was the truth about meds back in the 80s by a good therapist.  Rx meds are not the answer. 

A Psychiatrist’s Perspective on Using Drugs

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A heartening article for anyone who can't or won't use Rx drugs:
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/01/16/dr-brogan-on-depression.aspx

The breeze, used to mainly come from the east, but now it comes from the west...

It's a Gift

Yeah, we've heard that one before. But... Gotta train my mind to stop hating itself.

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Your Comments

I just had time to realise and post the comments. A thank you goes out to cyber space, and my apologies for not learning how to do this much sooner. My ignorance sure gets me in trouble sometimes.

Perhaps now that I've lost yet another job (this time to yet another economic downturn) I may carve time out, if it isn't too late, to delve into this webring again, and be continually inspired.

Hang in there,

Ms. Diagnosed

Nany

Archaeologists found this papyrus in the burial of Nany (NAH-nee), a woman in her seventies. She was a chantress (ritual singer) of the god Amun-Re and is referred to as "king's daughter" (probably meaning she was daughter of the high priest of Amun and titular king, Pinodjem I). As was customary during the Third Intermediate Period, her coffin and boxes of shawabtis (figures of substitute workers for the afterlife) were accompanied by a hollow wooden Osiris figure, which contained a papyrus scroll inscribed with a collection of texts that Egyptologists call the Book of the Dead. The ancient name was the Book of Coming Forth by Day. It is more than seventeen feet long when unrolled. The hieroglyphic inscriptions were written by a scribe, and the illustrations were drawn and painted by an artist.

The scene depicted here shows the climax of the journey to the afterlife. Nany is in the Hall of Judgment. Holding her mouth and eyes in her hand, she stands to the left of a large scale. Her heart is being weighed against Maat, the goddess of justice and truth, who is represented as a tiny figure wearing her symbol, a single large feather, in her headband. On the right, Osiris, god of the underworld and rebirth, presides over the scene. He is identified by his tall crown with a knob at the top, by his long curving beard, his crook, and by his body, which appears to be wrapped like a mummy except for his hands. At his back hangs a menat as counterweight for his collar. In front of him is an offering of a joint of beef. Jackal-headed Anubis, overseer of mummification, adjusts the scales, while a baboon--symbolizing Thoth, the god of wisdom and writing - sits on the balance beam and prepares to write down the result. Behind Nany stands the goddess Isis, both wife and sister of Osiris. She is identified by the hieroglyph above her head.

Nany has been questioned by the tribunal of forty-two gods about her behavior in life. She has had to answer negatively to every question asked in this examination, often called the negative confession. Examples of her denials include: I have not done wrong. . . . I have not killed people. . . . I have not told lies. . . . I have not caused weeping. . . . I have not done what the gods detest. . . . I have not made anyone suffer. . . . I have not made false statements in the place of truth. In this scene Nany has been found truthful and therefore worthy of entering the afterlife. Her heart is not heavier than the image of the goddess of Truth. Anubis says to Osiris, "Her heart is an accurate witness," and Osiris replies, "Give her her eyes and her mouth, since her heart is an accurate witness."

In the horizontal register above the judgment scene, Nany appears in three episodes: worshiping the divine palette with which all is written, praising a statue of Horus, and standing by her own tomb. Nany had a second papyrus roll with texts entitled What Is in the Underworld (Amduat) wrapped into her mummy in the area across her knees.-credit    more credits


like
Tom Petty
the big brother
I never got to have
Music touches my soul
an only way to connect with people
As I perceive, it’s so difficult for me to interact
as much as I care about people, I admit I have serious social developmental problema
on top of the emotional situation.

“The Situation.”…period

My highway companion. I’m solitary, spend my time running, running and hiding. it’s genetic

like a coyote



‘they murdered King, (MLK) when he spoke out on Viet Nam’
Rage, Zack De LaRocha

what is real is not real and what is not real is real
convoluted
makes no sense

what is happening across the world

I felt a slight tremor, and didn’t know if it was real or not
when you have hallucinations, there is a lot of unseen energy going toward trying to achieve the appearance of functioning normally. hearing things. have learned how to hone in and identify
eventually figure it out
many things take much longer for me to assimilate

intangible
freak

getting sick at 11 has been sinking in lately too, in a kinder way
kinder to myself
trying to forgive my crazy behaviors bursts
it’s getting so much better as I get older.
I look forward to it. Hope the old shell holds out
this soul is ready to complete a second half (almost) of a life to go

It's only going to get better as the light burns on

NAH Nee
holding my eyes and mouth in my hands in judgement

so ah stay away
myown liddle private idaho

Bears

The cats were making an awful lot of noise, too much noise for small cats, so I got up from a ridiculously early bedtime to check on things. It was still just getting dark. Out the window, the missing birdfeader spoke volumes of mischief. I snuck a peak through the side door, and a huge black bear butt was busy with something under the deck, with tiny face in tow. I turned on the light, and the baby looked right at me, not afraid a bit. Mama bear ignored me, licked up the last of the black sunflower seed and left. Her departing hind quarters revealed TWO baby bears in tow.

I move to the front slider to see them off, and next she's coming back up the deck stairs. I turn on the light again, and she freezes. Turns around and they take off at a relaxed pace.

I kept getting up the rest of the evening, looking out the window at the hunk of suet in the surrounding darkness, wondering how to dispose of it properly. Lobb it into the woods? Freeze it? yuk Throw it away? - it would reek and attract the bears.

No worries, by morning she'd taken off with it.

No bear worries for Nano.
That little face looking up at me a blessing forever.