The years of holding it in

I draw strength from you, lady up there in french blue
warrior woman,

nano

The years of trying to hold it in take a psychic toll on a human

it’s who one is and what is wanted that go hand-in-hand

with

I’M DAMNED BIPOLAR, OKAY?

You just can't say
but postal won't ever do
give my soul music now!!!!!!!yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god

the fact that the story of back in the day is sordid and soapy

a stupid young couple all impulsive and dopey

boring depression had it’s ugly grip on all three of us kids

with illnesses that screwed up the startup of whatever we did

bearing down on all three

and the life's blood threatening on the one beautiful young woman

little sister

fear surrounds the coming task of hearing the rest of the word

and that it came out two days before just as Ayliagsh had done two days before, into the wild.

The mind is still spinning, the depression and bipolar is beginning, I feel the symptoms of mania coming on. Dose up with pills, summon up will, fight with all might the potential ill.

Fight it off - will be winning

No longer in denial, don’t care if I fall in the pile, of shit that comes with who I am

Whatever it takes fight off the disease, trying to stave off disruptive bedlam

The effort of control

To seize my mind in the tornado

And keep it battened down

it is possible…

new song Hard Sun

debue'd two days after you took yourself away from us

Gut tied in knots, waves of nausea, try by sighing the pressure and pain from my sternum

Clenched in my gut, this can’t have happened. Ayliagsh can’t be gone. It’s too sad.

Ayliagsh, your blood disease, TTP, threaghtened your life every day.

Nightmare, it has to be, wake up now, my god