It's a Gift

Yeah, we've heard that one before. But... Gotta train my mind to stop hating itself.

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Your Comments

I just had time to realise and post the comments. A thank you goes out to cyber space, and my apologies for not learning how to do this much sooner. My ignorance sure gets me in trouble sometimes.

Perhaps now that I've lost yet another job (this time to yet another economic downturn) I may carve time out, if it isn't too late, to delve into this webring again, and be continually inspired.

Hang in there,

Ms. Diagnosed

Nany

Archaeologists found this papyrus in the burial of Nany (NAH-nee), a woman in her seventies. She was a chantress (ritual singer) of the god Amun-Re and is referred to as "king's daughter" (probably meaning she was daughter of the high priest of Amun and titular king, Pinodjem I). As was customary during the Third Intermediate Period, her coffin and boxes of shawabtis (figures of substitute workers for the afterlife) were accompanied by a hollow wooden Osiris figure, which contained a papyrus scroll inscribed with a collection of texts that Egyptologists call the Book of the Dead. The ancient name was the Book of Coming Forth by Day. It is more than seventeen feet long when unrolled. The hieroglyphic inscriptions were written by a scribe, and the illustrations were drawn and painted by an artist.

The scene depicted here shows the climax of the journey to the afterlife. Nany is in the Hall of Judgment. Holding her mouth and eyes in her hand, she stands to the left of a large scale. Her heart is being weighed against Maat, the goddess of justice and truth, who is represented as a tiny figure wearing her symbol, a single large feather, in her headband. On the right, Osiris, god of the underworld and rebirth, presides over the scene. He is identified by his tall crown with a knob at the top, by his long curving beard, his crook, and by his body, which appears to be wrapped like a mummy except for his hands. At his back hangs a menat as counterweight for his collar. In front of him is an offering of a joint of beef. Jackal-headed Anubis, overseer of mummification, adjusts the scales, while a baboon--symbolizing Thoth, the god of wisdom and writing - sits on the balance beam and prepares to write down the result. Behind Nany stands the goddess Isis, both wife and sister of Osiris. She is identified by the hieroglyph above her head.

Nany has been questioned by the tribunal of forty-two gods about her behavior in life. She has had to answer negatively to every question asked in this examination, often called the negative confession. Examples of her denials include: I have not done wrong. . . . I have not killed people. . . . I have not told lies. . . . I have not caused weeping. . . . I have not done what the gods detest. . . . I have not made anyone suffer. . . . I have not made false statements in the place of truth. In this scene Nany has been found truthful and therefore worthy of entering the afterlife. Her heart is not heavier than the image of the goddess of Truth. Anubis says to Osiris, "Her heart is an accurate witness," and Osiris replies, "Give her her eyes and her mouth, since her heart is an accurate witness."

In the horizontal register above the judgment scene, Nany appears in three episodes: worshiping the divine palette with which all is written, praising a statue of Horus, and standing by her own tomb. Nany had a second papyrus roll with texts entitled What Is in the Underworld (Amduat) wrapped into her mummy in the area across her knees.-credit    more credits


like
Tom Petty
the big brother
I never got to have
Music touches my soul
an only way to connect with people
As I perceive, it’s so difficult for me to interact
as much as I care about people, I admit I have serious social developmental problema
on top of the emotional situation.

“The Situation.”…period

My highway companion. I’m solitary, spend my time running, running and hiding. it’s genetic

like a coyote



‘they murdered King, (MLK) when he spoke out on Viet Nam’
Rage, Zack De LaRocha

what is real is not real and what is not real is real
convoluted
makes no sense

what is happening across the world

I felt a slight tremor, and didn’t know if it was real or not
when you have hallucinations, there is a lot of unseen energy going toward trying to achieve the appearance of functioning normally. hearing things. have learned how to hone in and identify
eventually figure it out
many things take much longer for me to assimilate

intangible
freak

getting sick at 11 has been sinking in lately too, in a kinder way
kinder to myself
trying to forgive my crazy behaviors bursts
it’s getting so much better as I get older.
I look forward to it. Hope the old shell holds out
this soul is ready to complete a second half (almost) of a life to go

It's only going to get better as the light burns on

NAH Nee
holding my eyes and mouth in my hands in judgement

so ah stay away
myown liddle private idaho

Bears

The cats were making an awful lot of noise, too much noise for small cats, so I got up from a ridiculously early bedtime to check on things. It was still just getting dark. Out the window, the missing birdfeader spoke volumes of mischief. I snuck a peak through the side door, and a huge black bear butt was busy with something under the deck, with tiny face in tow. I turned on the light, and the baby looked right at me, not afraid a bit. Mama bear ignored me, licked up the last of the black sunflower seed and left. Her departing hind quarters revealed TWO baby bears in tow.

I move to the front slider to see them off, and next she's coming back up the deck stairs. I turn on the light again, and she freezes. Turns around and they take off at a relaxed pace.

I kept getting up the rest of the evening, looking out the window at the hunk of suet in the surrounding darkness, wondering how to dispose of it properly. Lobb it into the woods? Freeze it? yuk Throw it away? - it would reek and attract the bears.

No worries, by morning she'd taken off with it.

No bear worries for Nano.
That little face looking up at me a blessing forever.

Miss Chief

tinkey wickette

November 14, 2006

Been sober. Nada alcohol. One year.  So much better.

The Cape

chatham tower

8/29/04
The fog comes rolling in
along
through the cut
with hope and job
look forward to
the job coming to me
it's in my heart, my mind, my soul, so
it's out there incarnating
through the stars
blackness shining down
potential of
moon draws shadow
full of portent
across the fallow
yet - importance
wind draws cloud cover
across the skeye
(can't remember - who am I?)
in a twinkle of an eye
beaten down to ocean breeze
go out and hang with some sleeze
in a local bar at ease
pass a drink, if you please?

It's not of the physical plane

pix (c) crop circles database

...and it makes me question my sanity
constantly
it's like a stray belief, orphaned,
latching onto a stranger as parent
a nuisance
dreams of eclipses
seeing the black night luminary again
and again
waning in and out
there one time, forgotten the next
perennial, permanent, fleeting, cherished & sacred
and gone
perseid meteor shows on Burke's Mountain Sunday
at nine
time wears on, wpeeding up, slowing down lessening
further my capacity to see the difference between a spectre and reality

American Bald Eagle

It was soaring, circling effortlessly, following us as we disturbed the wildlife walking through the woods. Yesterday, in a clear, tall, windless blue sky.

See what you've done

photo (c) advocacy for animals

Although you're death shook my beliefs to the core. I’m remembering you being only 18 when you got real sick the first time. Wisdom teeth + Honduras? or was it Guatemala?  Oh, and Yugoslavia to boot, all those horrible vaccinations... Who the hell would ever guess.  If there is anything that I could do is try to convey what a lovely person you were.

So anyone who knew you could remember you with pride in their heart.

How I hope we may know more of what a wonderful person you were, and of how it was out of your control that we lost you.

Your birthday is like a thousand deaths. Thanksgiving is like a knife. Now every year your birthday is to come around coinciding with my depression cycles starting every September. (pattern finally recognized=schooltime.)

Back to my scarily narcissistic self-centeredness, I’ve been thinking about coming out (about being forceably given by pills/incarceration then labeled bipolar by psychopaths) at work a lot more in recent years.

Read the blogs in this webring?. …26.4 kbps internet speed kills desire lately to be online at home. Besides being on it all day at work. Being such a city girl it never occurred to me that there could be such a thing as no grid for high-speed of any kind. Not even 56k dial up. The phone is sketchy enough. I may have thought twice about moving here. But it’s so worth it. I have to say been feeling overwhelming relief lately. Enough of the layers have released that I can actually breathe. Never felt this way before.

Age does my head well darn the hormones to wherever they go even with the downs of aging I’ve never felt emotionally better. YIKES> I hope I can live a long enough old-lady-life that I can actually do some good to humanity. I’m still just happy to be alive. And more easily go into denial of what’s happening in parts of the world, to experience true peace through meditation.

So read the blogs in this webring, in search of bps who are out. Mary's suggestion.

To fight depression I’ve been doing 1 to 1 ¼ hour of exercise every work morning. Get up at 4:30, (to wake up the drugged grog-out) do cardio elliptical then yoga. To start in the dark and end with the light having entered is bliss.

I went cross-country skiing up my street Sunday. It was magnificent. 45 minutes first, then a 2 hour trip. Lots of animal feets in the snow, deer, turkey, fox, my skis. It was the first time I’ve x country skied in yes 25 years. I’ve been collecting the gear since I came up North four years ago, getting the final bindings too late last season. We’ve been having so much snow so far this fall. It’s not even winter yet. I hope we have lots of beautiful snow this winter. It’s been way too long since I had that excitement about snow again. I just hope my body hangs in long enough for me to be an active happy old woman. I don’t know how I’d fight the depression short of maybe a parathyroidectomy. Certainly not an ocular lobotomy thanks to the Universe.  Gahd.

I’ve been frustrated not being able to stay clear of the credit card to make ends meet, but x-country skiing is free. Free. So much more of my environment is wild and free now and I revel in absolute gratitude and bliss in the pines and the Green, and White Mountains. I can see Mount Mousilauk views up the road, and travel to the Montpelier area every other weekend to see my musical man (MMM). I’m free. I must say I’m loving living alone, as much of a financial hardship as it is. I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it for as long as it lasts. If MMM and I get some digs we’ve decided on separate kitchens(as if we could). We are so different the way we live. He leaves stuff a mess to do music and teach Tae Kwon Do, besides his carpentry. Plus the thousand things he loves to do. I’m more of a one-note samba, liking my sparse lifestyle that keeps me going lately.

I just washed my hair in case the power goes out. Another sleety winter snow storm is happening – over night tonight – tomorrow’s commute is going to probably suck. Haven’t heard rainy type weather in a while. Snow can be so silent. I was wishing we could go into bat-ski mode, skis on the wheels so you can blast around faster, and ski-jump out of spills into gullies. I’ve got my trusty little laptop. That’s starved for high-speed, constantly nagging me to download auto-updates for a thousand things - that the connection can not handle. I gotta get off this lazyass and bring this lappuppy to work one of these days…take it to Panera downtown or the wifi rest stop on the interstate. I just want to get home and be far, far away. I love it so much. I am so, so lucky to be so happy sometimes, and not just that constant nagging anxiety
...

Black hole Sept. 16

photo (c) New Scientist
black hole

Virtual trips through black holes
The black hole at the center of our galaxy
Chandra x-ray observatory
apod September 16 pic of nasa day
nasa archive
Ayliagsh ^
from blue moon alpine, to sunday, 13 to 31