'Joy'stick

yet another mega storm

What is sick?  Being 'mentally ill', or the conventional (insane, some of them) treatment$ for it?  It is now my belief that psychotropics, especially considering those that cause 'suicidal ideation' as a side effect (and why the hell is that acceptable?)   Ok, I confess, I believe that whoever 'they' want can be manipulated remotely by any sick powers that be, to control people to kill themselves.  Suicide them.  I'm convinced.  Look at history.  We'd be surprised.

Not that I'm averse to the idea of succumbing to taking an antipsychotic to stave off, or nip in the bud, a manic episode.  I despise manic episodes.  I would take being down for at least a weekend, and sick for a week to prevent mania.  It can be so destructive.  Yet another one this last summer, triggered by insomnia, and terrible ptsd-ridden memories of my second husband devolving into what became evident was truly horrendous, advancing alcoholism.  'Don't let a thief in your mouth to steal your brain', or your ticker.  He was so cool...what the hell happened to him.  That's a different story.

This summer was horrendous.  I had a painful benign mass removed from a sensitive spot, the naval.  I know, ha ha.  Contemplating my navel, etc.  But I'm ashamed to show my face.  My life is in ruins, a wreck, once again.  This last episode was as bad as when I was 17, only minus the traumatic hospitalisation...get me out of this dimension, off this planet, where's my spaceship, etc.  There is too much suffering.