Love is ∃volv∃ Spw∃ll∃d Backward Manic Depression Bipolar Rx Psychiatric Survivor - wait - 6th extinction level event with 'business' as usual with ecocide looming? = truly insane. “It is No Measure of Health to Be Well Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society” - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Peace - Nothing Else Makes Sense and Justice - Nothing Else Matters
Dilution is NOT the solution to radioactive pollution: THAT is delusion. NO and NO.KNOW.NO! NUKES PLEASE: Drawing light on the Beauty of Diversity ~ Taking every last and first thing literally figurativelly through the eyes of MzDiagnosed Autism Spectrum erroneously viciously forced by lockdown that 70s style to take the Deadly Rx T-Rex thus given the Manic Depressive Bipolar it's a syndrome folks no joke. Seaing everything personally symbolically synchronicitealeafly...and No More Freaking Frack Freaks!!! ∃volv∃ is Lov∃ Spwelled Backwards
The clouds are really cheap
The way I seen 'em thru the ports
Of which there is a half-a-dozen
On the base of my resorz
You wouldn't think I'd have too many
Since I never cared for sports
But I'm never really lonely
In my Excentrifugal Forz
There's always Korla Plankton
Him 'n me can play the blues
An' then I'll watch him buff that
Tiny ruby that he use
He'll straighten up his turban
An' eject a little ooze
Along a one-celled Hammond Organism
Underneath my shoes
An' then I'll call PUP TENTACLE
I'll ask him how's his chin
I'll fine out
How the future is
Because that's where he's been
His little feet got long 'n flexible
An' suckers fell right in
The time he crossed the line
From LATER ON to WAY BACK WHEN
Life. Survival is unstoppable, rebellion, defiance.
Universal Love. er, Ock.tober
fire elf
cornflower indigo
blue morning glory
giant blue phlox
aperture acting up...
frogette and two carrion beatles
Frog had hatched in a plastic watering can that the weeds had grown over and hidden. Somehow this sweet little frog survived in that plastic jug, sharing the tiny pool of water with a dead mouse. The mouse had two orange and black beetles attached to it as it decomposed in the jug.
Discovered it while cleaning up around the yard. Had been blessed with an unusually rainy summer, a gift to have running water all through June - September. So much rain caused the yard to grow like crazy - a jungle of tall white asters all season, and the jug had nestled hidden.
Knew immediately just where to release the tiny buoyant critter. Where to let her go. Cradled the watering jug carefully walking her down to a pot hole near the brook. As she was gently freed into the clear water, it was apparent that she had not developed normally, her legs atrophied. She floated to the surface, breathing, taking in her new surroundings. A beautiful, clear mini-pond in the woods. Stayed, savoring sending her love and cooing to her. She swam under and surfaced by the edge, little sweet head popping up by some maple leaves.
C 'er sweet little head, face bobbing up under the upper left floating leaf...
Joy. She would be okay, way out here in the boonies.
Since, she gets visits from us, a handful of little Mexican/German hounds and Cally kitty, just about daily. Speak love and well-wishing into the pool. There she jumps, into the water swimmingly from the side. She is alive and well! Joy fills green hearts...
Dig it. Dig it up. Bring it on. Bring it into the light. Man-o-man.
Each day, with so much joy, so much Paine.
Pluto in Capricorn, the big squares subsiding.
Bring the corruption up into the light.
Keep it coming, we can take it high and tight.
Bring it on.
Eye ♥ U, girl. ♬ ♪ ☄
We can take it, we're tough.
Only the Universe can say when enough is enough.
Yesterday was harder without you.
Today is worse.
Tomorrow we may be together again.
But Now I'm not ready to go!
Joy is to be had around every corner
Perhaps we prefer the warmer
Dark cold damp and moldy
Warm bright Sun love unfolding
What the hell is life, anyway?
Another day, another do, another hey?
Gotta enjoy every gulp of air
Greet yet another day
Stupid smile on my face they'll never wipe off,
I love you so much I could die
But there's too much to do - don't lie
Whatever does not pill us
Heaps us stronger
∃ ~ ♬ ♪ ♥ ∞ ☮ ★ ☄ | ☄ ★ ☮ ∞ ♥ ♪ ♬ ~ ∃
And the Wind Screams Mary...to the tunes of Jimi Hendrix
And the Wind, Cries... Mary
Ahhh the Sylph. The beauty. I used to take spiritual sustenance and often, run-away safety, at the beach. Like the long walks on Nantasket Beach in Hull, Massachusetts. In its heyday, Nantasket was a thriving year round carnival. That had long been washed away by the time I walked its beaches. Always alone.
Then by 2003 my step-son had finally reached the age of 18. It took another year to muster up the courage to leave the abusive alcoholic drug-addicted ex-husband (demon) after he had attempted to murder me in a blacked-out rage. They both ganged up on me and made the whole marriage hell. They hated me. I felt I deserved it, to stay that long. (Hey, my step daughter had put her foot on mine in the beginning, looked up into my eyes, and pleaded me not to leave.) Sucker. The Quincy Courts and Weymouth Police Department both recommended I get (the hell) out of Massachusetts entirely, leave the state, as I intended to protect my ex-husband's two kids from their father stalking me: ex-husband was one charge away from a stalking charge, and hard prison time. His son joined in on their torturing me. However, I was not going to allow my existence to be responsible for he undoing himself. So I left for his kids.
I left everything there, a career, friends, a beautiful home rented from now my mother having lost my father in '93. Gut-wrenching to leave my old stomping grounds and the snotty blue-blood streets of the ongoing occupied colony known as Boston. Kind of miss that mean, bitchy, beautiful city, in a sad way. I miss access to the beaches the most. But I had to lose everything, yet again. I ended up in NH, acquiring a camp with my mother through her predatory lenders of choice. Still living through the hell of losing that beloved camp. I couldn't get it up to get my first mortgage, alone was my mother's orders. Then my mother raised my rent $200 more to $800 when I lost my job during the latest great economic depression crash against the people. Hey, she needed more money for her wasteful Miami Beach lifestyle, and the self-destructive rampage she perpetrates on her own health and spirituality. She refuses to speak to me for 3 years by now. A excruciatingly painful blessing. I forgive her.
Much harder to forgive myself. Hey, I have this incredible will to survive, a double-edged sword. Yay.
In the Upper Valley, I learned to look to the mountain vistas for that solace, for that elusive, fleeting feeling of freedom. Once a wonderfully brave and kind friend hiked to Mount Moosilauke with me, on the western edge of that range. I could not afford to hike the mountains in general and had no appropriate companionship to continue to do so with, and was afraid to go alone. So I would see the vistas from my commutes, and from freedom-thrill solo driving trips, looking for the dangerous kindness of magical waterfalls to swim in the summer, (breathtaking), and to gaze into during the brutal winters. Alone heaven.
These days I look to the Great Rift for visual and spiritual solace. The Milky Way, the Earth's mother, is beyond the suffering of this beloved planet. Why. Why does humanity have to suffer? It is totally unnecessary. It is the product of satanic occupation. Damn evil parasitic greed to the Black Hole, to the very womb, of Granny Milky Way. Perhaps Granny can dispatch this evil to Pluto, for destruction, and regeneration/healing.
In the late 50s, early 60s my father had been working for arch evil S.H.A.P.E., the military arm of NATO when my mother got her vicious, greedy money-grubbing vampiritic hooks in to him. She got pregnant to lure him into marrying her. Hey, they were both acting out their parents' and their own generational running-from indentured servitude, Nazi war and poverty. I forgive them, but Yuk. Being born to them was hell. Survivor's guilt: at being alive.
My mother despised my existence from in vitro on, and wanted me to get away from her mostly, going to work as early and often as possible, at home incessantly doing housework to avoid me, longing for her, -- as much as she thought she loved me. Totally confusing. But hey, she nailed her husband, my father, who was the absent, gentle, kind and loving parent. Wild birds landed on his shoulder for god's sake. Any vicious dog would set his toothy, slime dripping head in his lap. ('Savant.' Voracious learner of languages, written and computer code.) Huh? Both souls recipients of childhood familial abuse. But my father, who I adored, but with that horrific war monger vocation? Of which he could not speak, until his dying day. I forgave him long ago, as his soul attached to me for three years after his passing. I couldn't get his message of the future. (Beware your mother, who evidently would try to self-destruct in her greed.)
But I still despise much of my inner child because of my upbringing. My mother was ignorant of the horrors of Dad's vocation, escaping into fiction, she just wanted more, more, more. Ca-ching... $ Let's move again...who gives a shit about the kids education or welfare...Yup, we moved a lot and we got bullied a lot, especially me as the older sibling. typical. The terrors especially of the Concord, MA and Brookline, MA public school systems. Princess? Princess this. Hell should not be for children and other living things...
Here I am, on and on in my mind's eye eye go, continually compelled to survive, struggling against my genetically inherited and spiritually kharmic demons, on my usual unwilling warpath to destroy everything I try to love, everything I attempt to do, in my personal life. Why...? Hell on earth. Self-sabotage. My legacy? I reject that, this is not meant to be, or for the greater good. Write for money? That would take self-esteem. And the poverty I've fallen into just gets worse with age.
Homelessness is a very real danger for folks like me prone to psychosis. So is the danger of enforced medicating/incarceration. That package just another terror dangling over my head my whole life. So sick of being sick. Bah, humbug!
Yet here I am again, looking down another abyss of losing yet another home, another love, (!!!NO!!!) to my own self-destructive choices, the ravages and trap of PTSD (from infancy on,) bipolar illness, autism spectrum and social anxiety that was never properly diagnosed, (evidently, thanks, Daddy) and subsequent self-hatred. I am probably struggling with personality disorder, evidently: thanks, mom. Poor woman. Sorry I exist, for your sake, 'little mum'. But I do, and it's on you, old girl. Love you. Hang in there. And as always, I pray for you, mother, to heal thyself.
Now. This poor kind, hard working, decent, good, genius of a native man. Life has not been kind to him. I don't deserve him. I had no idea I was so incredibly screwed up, after taking the deadly memory wipe tyranny Rx for those two decades so I could attempt to hold down work. Totally wrecked my gut insides. Never mind the hell terror of hernia surgery mesh butchery repair last summer. I couldn't take the deadly psychiatric Rx-mind-control pills any more if I chose to without killing my body and mind further. Oh, and the pill-pushed brainwash of 'suicidal ideation' being an acceptable side effect. My god. Damn me to the hell of being me? Forced into another incarnation, back into this world. Never again against my will, will I incarnate back here. My soul will never be tricked again. If I could only salvage this incarnation.
Some Solace and Universal Love for ALL
So, I look to the Green and White Mountain ranges from yet another petro-fueled vehicle poisoning the air, oceans, and never able to drive myself, but most importantly unable to hike them. Ouch.
But especially my heart and soul drifts to the Great Rift...day or night, lately to the tunes of Robbie Robertson and The Red Road Ensemble(Words Of Fire, Deeds Of Blood) in particular has been stuck in my head for this last week. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDt2GzSTUeU more You tube...Robbie Robertson Vevo
Amazing woman, Hulga was. Seems that if one can catch a disease in it's initial stages before it gets a chance to do its damage is where the Zapper is best used. These days, with the onslaught of chemicals being perpetrated on all life on the planet, we can use all the help we can get. However, I have used the Zapper personally, a cheap home-made version, with huge success on totally eradicating my body of a virus that I'd had since childhood.
Using a nice, hot cup of tea of your choice, really any kind of tea is fine - especially your fave
one tsp turmeric
one
tsp of your favorite oil (any good quality oil, I recommend unfiltered extra-virgin
organic coconut type oil for the immense added health benefits, or olive is good too)
optional: raw, unfiltered local honey to taste, or maple syrup, etc.
Voila. The turmeric, which
swells in the bottom of the cup (stir it up now, and bottom's up - to
your health - salute') is jut what the 'doctor ordered. It works! It effectively fights cancers, either by stopping the growth, or reducing it. It stains bright so good to be careful of that...
Vinegar: Healthy Shots
Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, organic, unfiltered, with 'the mother': one shot in the morning, or before bedtime, anytime! Soothes the gut, and balances Ph of the body fights cancers, great all around healer for many, many uses...
A wise man told me what that meant once...the origins of the word troubadour... too bad I didn't appreciate that kind of advice then, I was just an ignorant, stupid bitch of a kid. A fool.
my alter ego, tempest in a teapot fool
∃ ~ ♬ ♪ ♥ ∞ ☮ ★ ☄ | ☄ ★ ☮ ∞ ♥ ♪ ♬ ~ ∃
But hey, I was oppositional especially to all adults, evidently, because I was raised to be truthful, and I didn't like what I was seeing in life, what was happening to people around the war torn world, and to the environment, in the name of Corporate and Military Power$$$$sssssss. (and my main parent was abusive...and insane) And in hindsight, spectrum autistic, before they had words or '?help?' for such conditions. Treatment? No bullshit, doublespeak, obfuscating, NO beating around the burning bush, especially the NO!!!!! Evil Warmongering Environment Destroying Darth Vader Burning Bush Family. And legacy. NO profits on: No GMOs. No pesticides. No superfluous vaccinations with Mercury poisoning added. No bombs. No nukes. No fluoride, no crap in foods, no microwave foods, toxic electronic pollution, No wireless, lead and additives in no air choking fuels, etc., etc....ugh. And war is not healthy for children and other living things.
Music has saved lifes, thousands of times over.
People suffer from these common dis~eases due to nature and nurture. And the precious earth, our mother, our lives blood, it's beloved crust, our environment is in fact, our nature. The dreaded manic storms are bloody hell distorted EGO disorder.
What is sick? Being 'mentally ill', or the conventional (insane, some of them) treatment$ for it? It is now my belief that psychotropics, especially considering those that cause 'suicidal ideation' as a side effect (and why the hell is that acceptable?) Ok, I confess, I believe that whoever 'they' want can be manipulated remotely by any sick powers that be, to control people to kill themselves. Suicide them. I'm convinced. Look at history. We'd be surprised.
Not that I'm averse to the idea of succumbing to taking an antipsychotic to stave off, or nip in the bud, a manic episode. I despise manic episodes. I would take being down for at least a weekend, and sick for a week to prevent mania. It can be so destructive. Yet another one this last summer, triggered by insomnia, and terrible ptsd-ridden memories of my second husband devolving into what became evident was truly horrendous, advancing alcoholism. 'Don't let a thief in your mouth to steal your brain', or your ticker. He was so cool...what the hell happened to him. That's a different story.
This summer was horrendous. I had a painful benign mass removed from a sensitive spot, the naval. I know, ha ha. Contemplating my navel, etc. But I'm ashamed to show my face. My life is in ruins, a wreck, once again. This last episode was as bad as when I was 17, only minus the traumatic hospitalisation...get me out of this dimension, off this planet, where's my spaceship, etc. There is too much suffering.
The aerial onslaught says it is true, expecially Black Hawk.
ciao
and B.H.'s BS: the FB crowd, wasting taxpayers money on justifying wasteful jobs looking for that which does not exist, the incessant 'facebook' Cessnas.
ciao
hey, I'll hold on to my life until they pry it from my vice grip hands
if evil ones take my life from me, before my time, it was never my will, no matter how they try to spin it
I have protection, but the evil ones continue to harass too and steamroll over
if they take my life,
~until we meet again in spirit~
here is a feather from blue jay
he says hold on you all, and keep doing the good work
Universal X 0
To the Tunes of Native Music Everywhere that will Always Survive, Especially in Spirit, Easily Channelled
Love Freedom Now
to the tunes of robbie roberson, u2 and all music ever created
August, you are well intended...Man!...I didn't deserve you. Keep your chins up, that's ALL
thankyahplease. no right way Must Protect You and Yours And Me And Mine...
There is no write way to do this ... wearing that foo hat, at least a letting go to heal kind of thing swum under the bridge a thousand years ago.
Forgiveness?...starts at one's temple all is as it is blessed be and 4 busy bees for evah
(Please, Count Blessings that me and my banshee family are So Gone from yours for the Duration.)
...sorry. Bye. That is all. Bee welle.
coulda woulda shoulda ruddy forgiven, shellfish little minion that was me, million years ago but wuz too stubborn n way2 debt-slave stoopid, and not spirit-bear till blessed plow-wow-now. I'm now where I was always meant to be.
+
ugh, finally, at least a step-up to a weird allbeeit apology analogy
finally. Sorry for my half of the ugly show pie.
and now for some more daily news. to the tunes of long live Jon Stewart's silliness in the face of corruption, and too fat pockets especially in this land was never meant to be insidiously occupied? It never was 'our' land...Gaia's land allows us to dwell, for those that care, only...
Ancient African fires inform study of Iron Age magnetic field history
When the melted floors cooled in the wake of
the blazes, the magnetite were reorganized by the ancient
electromagnetic field -- offering a snapshot of electromagnetic history.
besides. never let em see the ol' whites of eyes...even if they try to set up (puke bucket) for...and gather those nuts and berries...and don't let the bedbugs bite or get flooded the cripe out.
I will too. wanna live to ripe old spry now...just to spite the face of mind control. Didn't fall far enough from the scary self destructive rampage palm tree of Greed until now. Good luck with that, Florida............healing link to Elva Thompson ∃ ~ ♬ ♪ ♥ ∞ ☮ ★ ☄ | ☄ ★ ☮ ∞ ♥ ♪ ♬ ~ ∃ Letting go now. They could destroy the good of what folks like us had, but they can't take good memories from anyone...digging is for gardens. Letting go now. sorry, August Rush is a cool movie for kiddies everywayuh Rock grand dame ampersand rocklettes in the Now, forever durable. That's how come eye finally could apologize...^ Still have so much growing up to do for a grown Rock, eye no, eye no. Wish spiritual luck.
U2 so happy 4 U and wishing you luck and health too
bye, 88, August Rush to the tunes of James Cotton and the right kind of rockets
...and 4 that I felt I had to,,, couldn't say that once upon a time millions of ages ago.
and count more lucky starz that 'my' ugh...family, I have had to yikes protect yours from, and for the duration
But mostly, thank you for the well-intention. I treasure the memories of childhood with the family that tried to protect me under their wing and re-raise me to take care of my temples better.
(working toward letting go of pain now...) where's that old self inflicted scar tissue...?, oh, heal! now... S.E. Stella a,o,k, ampersand total'd battleaxe meanmouthed vampire'd beech saved by Oak Whisperer, cuz...
p.s. ♪ ♬ last re~challenge: 99, (or 88, depending if on depends) entourages encouraged, at Barnacle Billy's main place, or the likes, at least in spirit...ew can chew up the legs of the lobsters with crazy eyes and make kids everywhere laugh, even with the point, and eye down the flies that land in the mugs, for show and squeal...;)
;;;;;;;;;;musical muse list::::::::::::::::::
4 One. Keep It Beautiful
Counting Lucky Stars Don't believe the hype, by Flavah Flave, et all, Public Enemy ♪ ♬
...and to the tunes of shellfishness, forever stolen, european LPs and grandma and Holly photo collections, especially the d.reams and even daymares of compulsive neurotic juvenile journalling, period. And the Mardi Gras of unsupportiveness toward the ethics of good hard work...use it for fuel in the hearth
Fascinating... Jim! Is that it? Doctahrrr!? Live Long and Prosper (even w/wrongside.upside 'double U' and Darth V. destruction rampant)
ayah, more views on this subject, please: Turmeric kills cancer cells as well as a myriad of other benefits, like inflammation, for goodness' sake. Any thought on the subtle flavor of Turmeric, and that it is excellently placed in most Curry(s)? Recipes? Yah can't take Turmeric with yah. How about turmeric tea, anyone, just add a little high quality coconut oil, cayenne and raw local? Come on, e-i thought we cared more about healing. Oh. Gotta keep healthy, there's too much work to still be accomplished, and it adds health to allz daily truth fix. Lets tell the whole world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right in the NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tee hee, just having yet another perhaps slightly immature fit over big pharmaz vampiritic mind DE(control) on less and less folk, as they are rippling out and waking up, all of them, releasing the past and being in Now. As painful as waking up to who oneself is can be sometimes.
Letting go [of] pain forever Now...Fare Well, Aug, Fare Well
//[{(and scraping some of that ancient dang but not forgotten eggoff my face/plate)}]//
//so be it and so it is
may all harm none all ways ever, blessed bee
take good care and have fun at it, yes?
no more life ruinations, k, EVER, not even during blue moons me 2
eye call protection around ALL goode folk especially goodeMomz, like Peace and Justice awards, and Saint Lawrence and like minds and beloved Guise ~ goodly Pi(r)^//
The emigration/immigration issue is a blatant example of inequality and fascism of late. (Not easy to catch David smiling. Before he stated this piece, yup.) Anyway. More mind truthsayer 'soothe.
Yikes.
David opens with: 'Once you realise that, (that the world is a madhouse run by psychopaths)'...(paraphrase attempt, on his opening statement)...'the more (the 'IT' - the agony and war torn terror possessing us humans on our beloved spinning blue top) ...makes... sense. Sense. Ok ∃ something like the more you can understand it.....the more alive you are...
oh, am i 'bloviating, yet again? (love that word) sorry...
-more psycho vampires pic placeholder here-
Where's my damned 'spaceship?! I've been searching for evah...
oh, it's Earth'...all this time...
But this here (MsD) simp - getting to the simpler side of (acceptance) knowing the truth, no matter how ugly or unbelievable --- and secretly engineered over way, Eons long timeframe = the bamboozling of humanity that has been going on for...and there seems to be no One Evil Entity to grab and be held accountable, or what...? "It" is a moving target! Heads Wrapping Around...'the IT'. As best as each individual can by their own unique way, hopefully with their sanity in tact...
David has that clear grasp and can handle blaming the leaders/countries that are most offensive.
Oh, war, I despise
'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives
War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go off to fight and lose their lives
But ...it can't be willing humans that are actually //slitting the throats// of our future? These 'psychopaths' in their madhouse (good description) of 'more for us few, less for everyone else' feeding literally on all of us in one way or unconscionable other...
Probably I was one more among countless kids who knew too much way too young. Survivor's guilt at not being in combat. Got jaded way too soon. Then after the mind-**** tornado (yet another hapless teen forced into mental hospital incarceration torture and nightmare, punished for a manic episode {but I have the key to life!: it's Universal Love!...CLAMP/shut/DOWN} around 1979) That had the effect of ...after that sitcom I slowly kept shutting down shunning reality more and more...went into denial trying to get away from it ever happening again and have a 'nice' ...my own little self-destructive rampage called life.
Psycho(path) Madhouse Doc 'Yank' (yup) told me in his chain=yank style, if I couldn't function on the 900mg lithium Rx thing, (99 lb kid drooling in a corner,) then to 'go on disability'. He should have been shot with that killer 900 mg thorazine blast, his own evil "medicine", in his own butt, to get perspective on his vocation. So much for asking for help with how to proceed with a horrid 'dis`ease' like that. Yet another cog, masterful doublespeak warmonger in his own way, that doc.
Thank Dog I was in a position to reject the Rx for so long...and thank Dog I didn't birth any more spawn of aurtistic persuasion, evidently... with sadness, seems to be the emerging case in my Nuclear Family (insert yellow puke buicket) lineage...
never forget, never again...gngngngngngngngngngngnngngngngngngngnngngngngngn
What a joker I was becoming, turning away from truth in youth, jest to develop 'work' skills and the lame attempt at a half decent 'career path' as some sort of backward rebellion to keep my mind off looming mentally ill homelessness. I wanted to do WORK!! of good value. (It's instilled in many folk blood.) But instead, Debt-Slave muddle- class foolishness, on through till golden years (since maybe I would be worthy by then to write, struggling to outlive another paternal figure) all the while choking on emerging truths.
Ugly Truth? Personally, Dad's work was so secreted that he could never tell us what he actually did for a 'living'.
Why did I keep hounding him over the years asking for him to explain?
He never would/could talk
about it, {{they'd take away his vocation.}} Something about a kid with
his family growing up running from the Nazis. Nuclear explosions and
desecration of the earth and all 'her inhabitants haunted yet another
little kid's day-mares. It's no wonder I grew to hate my own guts, but
the unknowing of all that I can let go of now. It's not my fault the
choices my parents made,
including birthing yet another hapless human being...slippin in to darkness, WAR
'Well, I guess we just have to be grateful and try to appreciate how lucky we are'...How?! while indigenous people all over the world are getting war torn to smithereens?!...and MY HOME COUNTRY as one of the top three ugly PAWN vicious warmonger culprits...forget self-hatred and blame aside, these psychopaths are so RESPONSIBLE for human suffering equaling Colonialism...UGH. I need a mind shower:
hat tip to - Tina Turner sings in Welcome to the Terrordome
Not to be a bore, but Immigration is a subject close to my heart,
(right up there with 'Forgiveness;') as my paternal 'rent was 30, from
Canosa di Puglia (heal of 'the boot,) when I showed up on spaceship
Earth. He was about 38? or so when he earned that ?proud? (insert painful confusion placeholder) ole u.s. (more theft and violence from/for US, so less for all the good folk type mentality?) citizenship.
Yeah, yeah, it was a cool experience etc. to teach a (beloved) parent the nuances of
...'English' (gulp! grrrrrr crazy language as it is), in that it helped give the child the (choke!) 'gift' of perspective being yet another dreaded 'ugly
american' 'lame tourist'* type loser. At least I became well aware that how I embraced life totally sucked, and I was stuck in the quicksand of aware denial. No eye contact, please, it hurts. Yikes.
It's confusing, because I love the land here in the u.s. But the Natives were massacred and their home and way of life was STOLEN from them, and the survivors were incarcerated and brainwashed into self-destructive ways of the Colonialists. Then we were lied to about all this glorified viciousness. Truth hurts like a knife ripping through the soul-dire.
Why I thought I deserved to at least struggle to live 'my' life, I have yet to fathom. What did come naturally was the will to write something right, and hey, this tiny sandbox is it. But I knew I was such an ugly person, (all wrapped up in acting out idiotic 's♬ ♪ubconscious' child abuses with a pretty stupid shiny red white and blue bow,) and therefore obviously I truly always came to the blatant conclusion that I had nothing worthy to offer.
Here, have an 'Arrogant Bastard' ale...tag line 'you're not worthy' with a devil on the label...YIKES or NOT pass the yellow puke bucket, please, where? Oh, there, on the Right Wing of yet another geoengineering hijacked airplane. Ouch. Pass the salt?
Well now the tsunami of memory is coming back, as difficult as that can be at times. If I could only be my quiet self. Thankful for stupidity, serendipity and emerging Sense. At least there is purpose now, a hunger to hear more voices and the fortitude to not cave at the insanity. The psychopaths in the madhouse are insane, NOT folk like me, Slippin into Darkness, WAR♬ ♪.
In other words, getting out of the Denial stage into acceptance, wait. THAT is not the right word. This infuriating language, English! Ok. You know, so well. And yes, humanity is ruddy tired of this knowing. We needed to get to the next steps a few centuries ago would have been decent...poor spinning top One Living Organism earth. Damn sick of being so angry and sad about what's done to humanity, how our existence has all along been preyed upon since the dawn of our existence. By a psychopathic, evil parasitic greed, word up: 'Archon' works. Uh-oh, better publish this blip fast before the berserk gremlins crash the old pee sea tower!!!
It's sooooo frustrating Knowing that humanity is so capable, and technology could be so relatively quickly positioned, to save Gaia from this ongoing destruction. Ah, Potential, intelligently belligerent in the face. Soothe with extra-strength truth.
or Hey, the Planets Line Up for Real These Willa Wilde Times
UNCLE!!!
What do we all have in common?...^
Once in a Blue Moon, folk on Earth in All Countries as One, looked up, woke up from being slowly boiled alive and realise whah?!!// had been// happening to them over Eons in time.
O. So They Willed Healing because of //had all been// //former suffering as unwhitting// players in the Great Bamboozle of Life on the beloved spinning blue top.
Once in a Blue Moon, folk of all kinds of creed, rainbows and unicorns shed haplessness, worked through, realise their implants, and trans human molar agendas and as many issues, as Tyranny Rx pill-less as possible become more, and moved into possibilities: healing awareness-style.
Once in a Blue Moon, Out of a River of Denial, as it were, in Egyptian lore
Once in a Blue Moon, One and All was not alone for the duration, for as long as the grid perpetrated it's ugly escalating toxic, controlling wireless soup war games on the folk.
Each slow-motion droplet ...of life-giving ...air and water ...dripped into a garden pond, and rippled outward to every last atom on the beloved Gaia planet Earth or whathaveyoucallher with toughlove support to question, and guidance. Many soldiered through the convolutions and convulsiveness, on in pursuit of true peace and forgiveness, carrying on with the right to live sovereign stlye: in peace and forgiveness flavah.
Once in a Blue Moon, all goodly folk on here on beloved spaceship Earth woke up to a bracing cuppa tea or coffee, and realised what had been happening to them over Eons in time.
They stepped away, forward, from the growing Bible thumping floods of torrent, of main stream TV.
Once in a Blue Moon, In moonlight they caught a fish and sustained themselves, they got through the Shock and Awe phase, and slowly paid attention to more nutritive temple air and detox regimens onward in the Peaceful Path, spiritually.
Memory wipes are hereby wiped off the face of all necessary, on Gaia planet for all good and successfully well intended folk for evah.
Once in a Blue Moon, all goodly folk wrote on, praying for the salvation of all goodly folk weaving action into.lifestyle, in the face of mounting evil plastic and all other ridiculously destructive toxins, and transformed into make truly living or life-sustaining occupations.
Electric grid mattered not, as all were connected through Spirit.
And so, it was written. when only good for All Well-Doing, One, Universal Love. potential of goode in the face of evil~ evolve is love spwelled backward, So be it and so it is
Once in a blue moon. On 'Nuclear Family values', the English Language can be so Cruel, and Tyranny Rex's Antidepressants: Beware the Side Effects. Beware this toxic outburst here. RUN. And beware ANGER. I've been through too much. If you don't have intestinal fortitude, DON'T READ THIS. How do you spell TyranNOsaurus Rex. I'm so sorry for the world's losses of truly good people through this scourge. Never blame the victim if you want to get to truth.
Narcotic Addiction Avoidance
To avoid narcotic addiction in the U.S., all you have to say to any given doc is (even if it is an outright lie:) 'I have an addictive personality and Narcotics are out of the question.' Something like that. It's the last bullet on the posters in the doc's 'office these days, where it gets right to the point of that matter. So then it goes in to your tired medical record that you have an addictive personality and that Narcotics are out of the question for you, even if it is a lie. But they can't push that class of drugs on you at that point, or they might get into trouble with their jobs. You will have to keep reminding them, perhaps, as you go along in life and need health care so meet 'new' doctors. But then, by law, the tyranny of Big Pharma will have to leave at least that class of drugs out of their push-on-you-list. Freaking Drug Pushers. All on the 'up and up'.
I can now look back and see truth behind lies, but can the average person today in excruciating psychic/emotional pain with no resources other than convention, can they see the truth behind these lies? That begs questioning.
Rx? How about facing those fears, letting go of them, and carrying on instead, please?
Please excuse this horrible insomnia, because I am compelled to watch TV's a few feet from my head, like loud shoot em up guns invading my thought process and peace of mind, when I have to try to 'rest' or 'sleep' just like apple pie. Besides, it also eats up all the bandwidth. TVs are better during the endless winters when you need to heat up the room with hot air. Pass the glass of H20?
Fatboy Slim Vevo ~ hey Sangfroid Walkin, how's that 1% treating you these days 'old spry, cruel, cruel Weapon of Choice, note what I like to call Christopher's 'Tyranny Rex pose, kinda like a martial arts expert, you betcha he don't take drugs for antidepressants, mania, insomnia, or anything else, yeah, yesss, $$$pry, fly etc., choke! wheeeeze, pass the humility please...and maybe some popcorn:
Cruel, Cruel, English Language Damn
English language...'don't take everything so literally...' I tried to see everything in black and white, so it would make sense, and so I heard that
countless times as a child (from those I've been blessed with who cared to try to re-raise me right)...'don't take everything literally...' In the middle, autism spectrum,
undiagnosed, for at least two generations that I know of...until the
third...poor 'nipote', and family has now brought the issue to light. Who knew until now? Not I, said the pig. I always KNEW something was terribly wrong headed about me, but I blamed other things. 'Ignorance is at the root of all evil.'
Only took me over 50 bleepin' wasted years to examine the evidence of the fallout of a 'nuclear' family and see the light on that demented rocket science.
On the love, of a cruel 'nuclear' family' and especially vicious-mouthed legacy...
!barf! oh, excuse me yellow puke bucket, sorry, ...'peacekeeper'...what does keeping peace mean to me? bees! truthfully...
'eye' need some more reality...not more PTSD
to the tunes of Jimi, Band of Gypsys in this case...
pass the cats-sup-purr
Ahhhh, on the 'unconditional' love of a child for their 'parent...
Nuclear Detonations and the Power Plants that Birth them, are still Not Healthy for Children and All Living Things
Ah, the depth of my photo thievery is apparent here^
With Jimi's Power of Soulturning over and over compulsively teetering on those old turntables of the past:
"Playing too much with one toy tends to lead
Into the foggy
It's so groovy to float around, sometimes even
A jellyfish will agree to that
I said flotation is groovy and easy
Even a jellyfish will agree to that
Yeah, but old jelly's been floating so long
And so slack, lord, there's no kind of bone in his jelly back
Floating every day and every night ...is a risk, sometimes
The wind ain't right"
!!!
life here now on this eons long greed driven parasitically (bad alien) infested 'paradise'... can be a pile of dung beatles some times...
my self-anger seethes. self-hatred is my birthright: self-immolating vampire syndrome:
to the tunes of Nirvana, Nevermind. Got those eye teeth pulled, too.
...
Yes, for some people, like for example stupid me looking back into an old 'mirrah' of life, yet another old toxic original Ugly American 'lame tourist' type, staring compulsively in horror with the gaping mouth of yet another bad clown meeting up at Logan, finally in the excruciating yet invigorating waking up phase with the astronomic alignment process in place, to out of denial, seeing the rubble of an avoided youth, the truth is, in fact, toxic as DetoxMansion. Happy now? Yeah, write.
Yup. Every time I wake up, or look in a mirrah after pissing in yet another a cup or signing yet another medical release form that doesn't speak to any of the myriad of other release forms per individual. Damn, am I still me again? Zappa!
Here am yet again, forced to ask for medical help and write my name on forms that all go on the f*cking w*b in these times, I feel my desire to keep fighting the system slip away. So I react like a vicious animal with toxic self destructive anger, but hey, that's my behavior. Back in the 'easy bake oven for me.
with pain and insomnia at a '10' which nightly for the last several months, stuffed in a 1-10 scale but the 10 keeps baiting and switching and ESCALATING, oh, yeah, I'm bipolar what does it mean that it is in my head? I must be FAKING, right, no, that is not what it means. It's in my BRAIN...no, not faking. PTSD? Insomnia? Oh...yeah...that started before ...birth.
Get some sleep!? Stop worrying about Refugees, the Big Pharma Vaccination $cam, Evil Monsanto and Companies GMO$ Cohorts, (town hall Cronyism and rising real estate taxes in NH,) Bible Thumping Geoengineered Floods and and Geoengineering scratching up the skies and polluting the atmosphere? NO, YOU stop worrying about that. Go back to sleep.
I get to call the clinic back about possible 'sleep aids' or 'non-narcotic' pain relievers. Cheers. "Probiotics supplements", yes, Ma'am, they help me greatly for a short while there, but I had to stop taking them when I fell out of the 'middle' 'class' during the GREAT DEPRESSION of the Late Great 2008, developed another lean on dreaded "credit". Oh, yes, I'll have to pick some of those probiotics up on my own dime, or get something extremely low quality with toxic additives through the WalFart pharmacy. No, I'll get my own in a month or two, thanks, I'd like for them to be quality enough to actually work. Thanks, though. Cah-ching!
What? "Trasnadone?" (psych doc tried it on me already last decade and it made me too sick) No. Man, they keep pushing this crap on me, they just don't get that it makes me so sick. I tried it before, and it made me sick. What are the side effects, again? "Suicidal Ideation"? Oh, no, thanks, anyway, not THAT again. (Had my fill of that for 20 years, thanks, and here I am today, alive still which is a big sucks-cess.) Thanks, though, for the big wahzoo leg-down, those memories of slippery slopes from Big Pharma into hell. Therapy really helps with their 'Suicidal Ideation', but what actually causes that, or in some people, can exacerbate it if it already exists? How could I possibly explain what my scattered reams of medical history is at this point, (I used to try to destroy the medical records papers I got as a younger person, so to pretend they did not exist) specifically allergic reactions to medications, when none of the psychiatrists I went to over the decades admitted that 99% of their constant parade of pills-pushing caused me debilitating allergic reactions? Oh, 'systemic' reactions, that happen over the course of 9 months on, 9 months to recover. Almost ended up with carpal tunnel surgery for that nightmare: Neurontin.
Oh, I'm missing reams, that's right. Never mind, that's different, right? No. and the truth of what people like me have been through don't show up on the old computer spit out list of allergic reactions to dreaded Tyranny Rex Rx, at ALL. They are buried deep in some chicken scratch for decades of saving up for retirement on folks like me's backs.
Angry? No, not in the least...you betcha I'm beyond pissed off: tired of the whole medical system, which as I embrace the aging process, I try to avoid, but lately, to not so much success.
How about the 1980's records of the hack Dentist 'Makin' it in Massachusetts' that didn't know how to use her new x ray machine on me, as I kept showing up for my appointment to 'fix' (destroy) a cracked molar (unpopped pop corn), falling asleep with mouth wide open in the chair she probably got out of the trash or from an uncle, so she could experiment with her new x ray machine, drill down into my jaw instead of following the roots that went sideways? ma-ma-ma-ma- (NO!) More Mercury amalgam in my headmouth? Let's startpage.com the effects of Mercury on for example, human life. Root canals? No, just pull it. More xrays? Yes ma'am. Uh, I meant No. (zzzzzzzzzzzzz yeah - YOU get some more Z's if you don't want your temple to break down or bust up...) Just pull the damned molar out, next time, thanks anyways.
"All pilled up, can I submit my resume, again?" Oh, and who am I again? What decade is this, now?
"The fine print at the bottom of prescription drug commercials may provide ample horrific/comedic firepower — what are they hiding?
— but underneath the humor lies a chilling reality: In their noble
pursuit of making you healthy, prescription drugs put you at risk for a
number of terrifying side effects, chief among them being
antidepressants’ risk for suicide."
HUH? 'Risk for Suicide?' No Thank You Very Much Smells just like Suicide
Studies continue to show antidepressant drugs are no more effective
than a placebo, and in some case less effective. A study published in
the January 2010 issue of JAMA concluded there is little evidence that
SSRIs (a popular group of antidepressants that includes Prozac, Paxil,
and Zoloft) have any benefit to people with mild to moderate depression.5 Researchers stated: "The magnitude of benefit of antidepressant medication compared with
placebo... may be minimal or nonexistent, on average, in patients with
mild or moderate symptoms." SSRIs were found to be 33 percent effective, just like a sugar
pill—but with far more adverse effects, including violence and suicidal
thoughts and actions. There is much evidence that antidepressants
intensify violent thoughts and behaviors, both suicidal and homicidal,
especially among children. And, since the late 1980s, there have been
frequent reports of increased violent behavior, including homicides and
suicides, among individuals taking antidepressant drugs. A newly published study provides a plausible theory about how a
genetic mutation in the CYP450 gene family can cause a metabolic
disturbance resulting in uncontrollable violent impulses and behaviors,
including suicide, in some individuals taking these drugs.6 So if you or your child are taking an antidepressant drug, it's important to be aware that suicidal thoughts may be a side effect. But they are not the only drugs to watch out for. Other medications also linked to increased suicide risks include:
NOOOO, Get the F@ck Out, ...really? No, shit.
Two decades of suicidal ideation ignoration is as much as this crumbling temple can take. Oh, Benedryl? Brilliant! No electronics 1/2 hour before bed? Brilliant!
And Whoopie!!!!!!!!!!!, I get to wait three weeks to go back to the clinic with this abdominal pain, like a parasitic toothache, sober as usual, sapping my energy, with ensuing insomnia, all nice and shiny new, still looking for an abdominal surgery referral for an increasingly painful naval hernia, aggravated by ignorance, aging womanhood, an IMPLANTED mesh now swimming around behind my naval, which no longer holds the damned hernia IN. Instead, it just painfully floats around ON TOP OF IT poking, re-injuring, collecting more and more scar tissue and causing discomfort, swelling, oh, and don't forget, so I can't even push the old hernia back in. I'm going out of my mind with this belly tooth ache, slowly, just like the dis~ease of run-away austerity and inflation, just go to sleep and read The Nation:
($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$) slowly increasingly, all these 14 years my life has been similar to a growth of belly pain. Meshs to treat hernias? More on that later. DON'T DO IT.
'Bugzy! just a stitch or two and we'll be on our way'...Hey, is there a war on human health going on? What ARE those scratches across the skeye, anyway, hey, I feel dizzy, pass the H20, please?
Thanks for the health advice, 'Share.' Strange nick for one who HATES to do so with her own kin. I had finally succumbed at 40. All that specific brand of brainwashing starting at 8 years old, where I cut my teeth first on saying a big back at cha: 'Fuck, you: NO, I Will Not Get My Nose 'Done', nor will I 'get American braces this' (or any other) 'time.' You groomed me so well, 'Share,' for the miserable psychotic debt-enslaved stress-engulfed workaholic Eyes Wide Shut 'good' life in the good old You Ess of Aye. Why'd you birth me again...? Oh, to land a hu$band, that'ssssss right.
A naval hernia that is threatening to suck the life out of me for the duration. Unless I get some Z's. All for the 'gift' of life, my beloved parent'$ former toxic rocket science Rx minion.
The Nuclear Family as rocket science. Yuk. Smash all the mirrors and make glasses to feed the hungry's eyes. Besides. (thriving-life-stifling racing-workaholic debt-slavery) work in AMERICA and probably every other country, and all, on and on, to boot. And boots, hey, are for the web.
When will the madness of so called TV, ?REALITY? stop intruding on the sovereinty of human beings? Spell check that.
I must be one of those disgusting aliens on some tv show, just waiting to pop.
DATE THIS: Oh, yeah, to the gist. The Point. Yup, for years, 'Suicidal Ideation' they taught me to say that one at the dr. office, to make sure I'm not too suicidal. Just some. How I personally compensated was through realising that that urge to die, or the monkey chatter that was circling my brain over and over was a bad song stuck in my head, conditioning along with terrible medications, a.k.a. brainwashing. And 'that it would eventually pass', like a cold, a bad dream or an infection. I read the psych term in yet another frightening info sheet, the Rx drug counterindications (how's that for double speak for ya) of dreaded Tyrrany Rex Side Effects. ...sounds like some kinda demented cold-cock left punch to me. NEVER AGAIN...not that my guts can take any more of that useless destructive crap.
But hey, I need to go back to school or get training again while working, or and yet another job...right? Yes? No? Good luck with that bamboozling these days, sheesh...
Goddess of Elegance, wig Out :) https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/but-you-caint-use-my-phone/id1061192979?app=itunes https://twitter.com/fatbellybella ..................... ~ Just Be Welle ~
"We are up against someting that can not be programmed, categorized or easily referenced..."
-Fox Mulder, X-Files
In Sanity True.r(false?).Up.2.U
I choose effusively to believe humaniwomanity can prevail oppositionally to bad control by focusing on humans as one species and our place in a beloved Universe.Hey, it gets me though. U AS WE RESIST
Most Musical Genres thank god for music Shackles Off
protection all around all one and these listed here:
You Must get your dying wish, Ruth!!! All the Love and HEALING Light of the World wishing you Well You Amazing Woman! Get a free booklet of The Constitution http://www.constitutionbooklet.com/ https://www.democracynow.org/2018/12/27/rbg_as_justice_ruth_bader_ginsburg
π , protection light ALLONEUNIVERSE above and below............Hugh + Hue Manatee: Save the Humans by at the very most, WAKING UP
Eradicate the unnecessary Pity Committee, puleeeeeze for goodness' sake. Dedicated to J.R. on the Rock. Stigma: Attitude toward us is so not right on. Just because one has been classified with a mental illness label, has nothing to do with being or not beingderanged, they are not mutually exclusive. Many of those tagged 'mentally ill' are more 'sane' than anything else. Just endochrinologically (e.g. see Quantum Healing, free ad on the 'Ritchie Allen show') something or other'd? {been terrified of 'coming out' - frankly getting blackballed in employahillbility. (they always find out anyway - even on the deadly Tyranny Rx and look out for the Gaslight) Huge back monkey. Booted out of the healthcare system in the most recent corrupt Dubyah flavor Darth Vader economic slide against the people. A first foray into using a BLOB - coming out from underground while staying there...here's a toast to health. May your mind and spirit always access 'freedom'. ∃~Salute'
