∃volve is L♥ve, Sp∃lled Backwards ∃π~♬♪♥∞☮★☄|☄★☮∞♥♪♬~π∃

∃volve is L♥ve, Sp∃lled Backwards ∃π~♬♪♥∞☮★☄|☄★☮∞♥♪♬~π∃
Can you see the ouroboros...?

Sunday, August 28, 2016

No Longer Conned by Don, 'Zen Gardner' Revealed

Zen Gardner's Cult of Betrayal

we see you now, don/zen
It was the contributors to the Zen Gardner, (aka Don Ferguson) site that drew me in.  Many interesting and caring commenters were also drawn to the site.  (Moths to a flame.)  It felt like community.  A safe one, (not).  I found myself caring about many of them, learning more about them and truly feeling a connection with other people there.  Found many cool bloggers to follow there.  I still do care about them, but it is sad, if there are any real commenters left who remain there being continually taken in by Zen, or Don, or whatever his name is. I hear he's been abandoned, and is masquerading as commenters on his own site.

Conned by Don

I was sickened when I heard.  If zen/don had come clean about his past in *the beginning* of his blogging, this whole public shock could have been avoided.  It would have been the honorable thing to do, come clean when he started blogging.  Instead, he went on to develop a following, which is a huge responsibility.  But he kept his past secret.  Lots of folks mistakenly trusted him.  But zen/don did not reveal his past willingly.  Instead, he only 'came clean' (lame) because he was *forced to do so* or be outed by Steve Seymour @ Philosophers Stone,  'The Cult of Zen Gardner: A Monster in Disguise' http://www.philosophers-stone.co.uk/?p=13298  Zen/don did not write his con-fession of his own free will.

In Shock

To think that I supported, trusted, (with so many others,) liked and respected the writings of this zen/don Ferguson who turns out to be one of lies and deceit, and god forbid with a past 27 year career in a cult rife with abuse and pedophilia.  I felt ill for days after reading Steve's revealing Philosopher's Stone article and on down the rabbit hole, of what the Children of God (COG) cult was all about, which included suicide as means of escape for some.

Zen/don was in the COG cult for a whopping 27 of his adult years, rising in ranks to a leadership position as Image Manager.  Does that sound like a victim?  I think not.  It's the fact that he concealed his past.  So he did public relations for a cult that physically and sexually abuses children, (driving some to suicide.)  Did he not read the publications of his own cult?  In his position he must have.  It is hard to believe him when he claims that he was not aware of these fatal facts.  And that later in his career there he says he did become aware of some of the abuses, and he claims he tried to help, but exactly how?  Where is some evidence proving he tried to help victims?  It is impossible for me to believe him at all any more. 

Community or Cult

For many of the die-hard commenters there at zengardner.com the site seemed the only social life they had with like-minded people.  I signed up to receive added comments to the evasive posts My Missing Years (and the following All the World's a Cult) and there were those still holding on to that place, praising and forgiving and thanking him, taking what he wrote at face value.  Many others who have pointed questions are finding their comments are being moderated out.  Shut that site down.

Rude Awakening

Admittedly, commenting on that site, was the first online community that I had ever felt I was a part of.  'Zen' was a pen-name, that seemed obvious and ok.  But now in the ugly glare of 'zen/don's' being forcibly outed, what is most upsetting for me about losing that venue is losing them.  Most are realizing the truth behind this sociopath posing as a Truther.  His new cult to lead, disbanding.

Through the Deception

Before the reveal, some had already seen through at least part of zen/don's deception.  If only he had come on to the blogging scene clean, with full disclosure.  He would have avoided all this pain.  But he had to deceive, which only leads to unraveling.  I don't feel stupid at this point.  He bamboozled a lot of highly intelligent, successful truther speakers/activists/bloggers.   To think I looked up to this sociopath, makes me cringe. I've been wiping any links to his site off of this blog.  Hope I didn't miss any.

Depth of Devastation

We will never know the depth of devastation that the COG cult perpetrated. Many that did manage to escape only to struggle with isolation and suicidal depression. The suffering spans generations.  I wish their suffering to end and send them healing and peace.

So zen/don did not reveal his past on his own, and when he (was forced) to, he took the stance of victim, and continues to do so.  Forced revelation is betrayal. He is supposed to be a Truther, but he can't stop concealing.  That is just so wrong.

I will however, keep an open mind when evidence shows itself, truth always comes out. 

It would be cool if any of the COG cult survivors that knew him would speak up, have you come across any who write on the web?  It may answer a lot of questions.  Bring truth to what he continues to evade. The continuance of dishonesty by withholding the truth is unforgivable.


by Chautauqua @ Augureye Express:
What's Growing in Zen's Garden | http://augureye.blogspot.com/2016/08/whats-growing-in-zens-garden.html     '...Truth is never honored by protecting it with a wall of lies.  The TRUTH needs no protection ~ The truth points to itself.'

When Heroes Fall | http://augureye.blogspot.com/2016/08/when-heroes-fall.html

by Steve Seymour @ Philosophers Stone:
The reveal:  The Cult of Zen Gardner: A Monster in Disguise | http://www.philosophers-stone.co.uk/?p=13298   'If I were to remain silent, I'd be guilty of complicity.'

David Icke's Official Forums > Main Forums > Exposing Child Abuse > What the hell is going on with Zen Gardner?   https://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?t=310492

finding a use for his book
∃ ~ ♬ ♪ ♥ ∞ ☮ ★ ☄ | ☄ ★ ☮ ∞ ♥ ♪ ♬ ~ ∃

ps, here's my comment getting censored on his site 9/3/2016:

and another attempt at commenting, with date/time stamp, that was censored out:



  1. When I read Zen's article about the missing years, I felt as though I had the wind knocked out of me. It was the only place I have ever blogged on a regular basis and it took a long time to get up the courage to leave a comment. I liked a lot of the information on his site. Still do.
    His article made me angry. My conclusion is, he is a sociopath and he will never be able to come clean because his brain is not wired that way.
    I feel for him but I had a relationship with a sociopath and I came out the loser. When I began to realize this relationship was not right and I was being taken advantage of and voicing it, it somehow always got turned around back at me. My fault that happened or I gave an OK for that to occur. Sometimes I was second guessing myself wondering if I had said OK. Sociopaths can be real mind benders.
    For Zen to think that people that voice an opinion of disgust are against him, well I guess that just says it right there.
    We'll never know the true story of Zen. Probably better that we don't.

    1. You shouldn't feel bad Pam . It's our natural inclination as human beings to initially trust our fellow man . If we didn't the population would very rapidly decline :) The real shame is with those who were and are continuing to be apologists for paedophilia .
      I was one of the few along with you who were not part of the disgraceful 'love fest' initially found on My Missing Years and later on the other carefully orchestrated and emotionally manipulative articles .
      I had a relationship with a psychopath, all I can say is run , very quickly and never look back
      If Zen is a socialised Psychopath or sociopath he is not salvageable , he is as he is , (I had my concerns about ZG since Oct 2014 ) However , what excuse do the so called 'awakened' have for their relativism ?
      For turning away from an abomination?
      Makes you wonder

    2. Is this my Kitty? I think what I will miss are all the good folks that I loved to commune with. Alex, Brook, Peg, JC, even Peak Crackers till he was banded.
      It's funny, when I first got on the site, I emailed Zen with an article I had read about the Queen's trip to Canada and the missing Indian kids after the picnic they were taken on. Never to be seen again. Zen's response to posting this,Maybe. I thought that was a little strange. Now it makes more sense. Child abuse in it's glory.
      It reminds me of an old saying. Not exactly how it goes, but here's my take.
      .......The children threw rocks at frogs for sport, but the frog they died in vain.......
      I'll be thinking about this Zen adventure for awhile. Trying to make sense of what makes no sense to me.
      Kits take care of yourself. I miss you.Pam

  2. well i never put him or anyone on a pedestal. he had one article posted to his site where he criticized gays and i smelled a rat. so screw him and all peds and cults

  3. http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/give-it-back-breaking-through-the-shame-of-sexual-abuse
    An article (one of many ) on why no one has (or ever will) come forward to reveal their involvement with COG .
    The victims of these kind of abuses, which included incest as well as paedophilia are crippled by shame and guilt, two of the most psychologically destructive emotions there are . ZG will be very much aware of this ,he was after all the chief media management officer for an extremly well organised and successful cult . Just looking at his videos and reading his articles sequentially indicates someone who is fully aware of what he is doing .The iconography and his use of loaded language within his articles is astonishing , he is a master in the art of deflection and obfuscation. This man is exceptionally clever and supremely manipulative .
    I wouldn't give him the time of day , certainly not the benefit of the doubt .
    He's a nightmare .
    Hope the article helps give a better view of the mindset of the victims of these terrible acts of abuse .

  4. His site is down and the domain is for sale.

  5. Wow, i sure missed this piece of news last August!

    I figured out Zen was a sociopath after he snubbed/shunned me a few years ago. I had commented on his site that because of my experiences with sociopaths I had gotten pretty good at spotting them and that in most cases if I spotted them quickly enough then I knew how to stop them from using me. Zen asked me to email him so I did. He emailed back and asked me to further explain in more detail what I had said. (After this ordeal I realized the irony and mockery this was). I spent a lot of time and effort into explaining how if you don't give a sociopath what they want they will usually go away, how to say "no" and how important that is, and especially how free expression is the core of all that is good. I went out of my way to write something good (some more irony, considering what I was writing about). I sent it to him. He ignored me.

    Several days went by so I emailed him again. Still, nothing. Sent one more. Dead silence. Then my subconscious kicked in and I had a dream. In my dream there were zombies chasing everyone. We would climb trees to sleep in to escape them. But there were some who found refuge in a brick building, which I found my way into. The people there were safe, but they seemed sedated. There was a sort of mad scientist there, who came with a needle to stick in me. I knew I couldn't stay unless I took the needle, so I ran outside. Once outside I saw a cougar, and I knew that was My cougar, protecting me.

    After this dream I examined the "Zen Gardner" creation more closely and it become obvious that something wasn't right.


    One that I can see now is based on his paradoxical cult teachings, and by that I don't mean what he writes about, but How he writes it, and how he's always got control over what he says, never truly letting loose with pure expression his pure truth, which is the exact opposite of what I believe is right--the pure uninhibited expression of love, which isn't all Fluff.

    Zen is all Fluff. He doesn't want strong people in his garden, only weak, so he can always control them. He shuns the strong and hides behind his army of the duped.

    When someone is trauma based mind control programmed they are first a victim and dehumanized. So Zen was a victim of mind control before he copied the programming to make his own little flower garden cult. And if you look at his interview with that Disney woman, he smiles like he thinks it's funny. I think it's very sociopathic of him to smirk like that over such a serious scandal.

    1. http://augureye.blogspot.com
      Chautauqua blogs about the zen gardner scandal with piercing wit. You may want to visit his site...

    2. Thank you for that link! It's interesting to see that there were so many others who got "shunned" like I did, or banned by Zen.

  6. Hi Pandora! Kitty! Pam! Miss you all. Every once in a while I check to see if the site appears. Today I searched "zengardner - kitty" to see if I could find my friend. I left then site a while before. Kitty and I knew something wasn't right. THIS was furthest from my mind. Nothing will ever surprise me EVER again. (even the "Don" in the whitehouse lol!)

    Hope everyone is well.

    I love you and miss you all

    1. JC , you know I've been thinking of you, how you are and whether you had heard the news about the "Dark Lord" aka ZG or he who must not be obeyed :)))
      Didn't we know something was very wrong ?
      Not this though although we did think he was not the full ticket as we Brits like to say .
      Hoping you are well too
      Love you too !
      Kitty .

  7. JerseyCynic, Hi! I'm sorry, I just found your 2/23 comment had not been published, and it's 3/21. I am still a novice at this blog stuff after all these years. I miss you all too! Pam, Kitty...Lots of us comment at http://augureye.blogspot.com Freefall has a new blog https://freefall555.blogspot.com David is out there...I found his website (in australia) right before zen tanked, but sadly I have lost it...

    1. http://www.saucepanbach.com
      David's website Pandora .

    2. Okay Pandora :))
      Have you seen Free's new new blog ?
      I can't remember if you commented there.
      His first blog went down and now he has a new one . http://freefall555.blogspot.co.uk
      Free writes good stuff ,funny as well as deep , humour is always good ! definitely worth a look .

    3. Will do! Love freefall's work, he's consistently amazing, coming right from the truth. Heading over there now... :) <3 U k, hang in there

  8. Ida Lawrence is at http://talk2momz.wordpress.com
    has written a great book

  9. Elva Thompson is at
    she gets a lot of commenters from the old Zen Gardner/Don Ferguson cool-aid dispenser (just kidding - there were a very lot of GREAT writers and commenters despite the cool-aid)

  10. of course augureye.blogspot.com - Chautauqua, and Edna Spennato, http://earth-heal.com/

  11. Geoff Byrd at Radio Mysterium

  12. Ariel AZ Alexander is on youtube...

    Peak Crackers was on youtube but deleted his account. Sometimes he comments on augureye.blogspot.com

  13. Hello neighbours - it’s a long time since I’ve thought of zengardner but many of those who commented there stay in my mind. Why not? Plenty of ‘good and warm’ people were there.
    I stopped writing because I had nothing to say. Life goes on and I also found, to my cost, that sociopaths masquerade as friends or family and that this isn’t always obvious. That left bruises.
    Thanks ‘msd’ for getting in contact and pointing me to this article. So lovely to hear familiar voices.

    1. Hi David, thanks for stopping by! Kitty gave me your website, I had lost it. Good to hear from you! Freefall is at http://freefall555.blogspot.com/
      Stay well, David