∃volve is L♥ve, Sp∃lled Backwards ∃π~♬♪♥∞☮★☄|☄★☮∞♥♪♬~π∃

∃volve is L♥ve, Sp∃lled Backwards ∃π~♬♪♥∞☮★☄|☄★☮∞♥♪♬~π∃
Can you see the ouroboros...?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bipolar Medication Maze

Sept. 23 2015 Note: This was written a long time ago, got booted out of the health care system Halloween 2010.  I have become so sick from the medications to date that I can't get back on them - I have tried...If there were only some sincerely good research on meds/treatments that are not too prohibitively expensive for the average person...but sadly, and it's truly a CRIME:  Big Business, Big Pharma.
I froze starting this post as I just had to change doctors and I haven't been documenting it clearly. I'll actually have to try to remember, oh no, not the 'r' word...

Lithium 900 mg = totally depressed, sick, went off immediately and have stayed off medication from 1978 to 1992. I had to start taking meds because I was struggling trying to go back to college, (getting sick and failing,) and had just become a shotgun stepmother to two profoundly behaviorally challenged kids in 1992. Have been hooked on them ever since. They actually helped me to learn how to begin alleviating much of the anxiety over the decades, with a lot of work. And getting blasted out of a bad marriage. - The second time it was a cd that blasted me out of hell, but that is another story.

Bipolar Medication History

I think they have me categorized as the non-specific bipolar. Or whatever it is.

In 1978 they put me on 900 mg lithium. I was so sick and so depressed that as soon as I got out of that first and only hospitalization (forced a month imprisonment) for that first acute psychotic manic episode. It was quite traumatic. I suppose I should describe how they use to treat us. I have no idea what they do now. They started with luring me to the hospital without telling me I'd be incarcerated fro a month. When I kept raving and wouldn't sleep they strapped me to a gurney and shooting my butt with 900 mg Thorazine - a lovely traumatic experience that helped keep me stubbornly out of looney bins ever since. I don't recall resisting the thorazine in the first place the bastards.

Lithium = 900 mg for a 90 lb. 17 year old kid you've got to be kidding me - immediately upon release of hospitalization went off all meds.
Thorazine = you've got to be kidding me while in the hospital...
1992 -
Stellazine for antipsychotic = knocked out for days. Did calm the psychotic symptoms but make me catatonic.
Zoloft = side effects didn't like it.
Wellbutrin - seems to be keeping me from slashing my wrists - it's a joke, ok? - have been on it from 1992 to date.
In attempting to avoid lithium, as it causes thyroid disorders, weight gain and most importantly for me, depression, I tried many of the anti-epileptic meds.
Tegretol = as soon as started taking it, rash all over body (no anaphylactic shock), emergency room.
Neurontin = after 9 months developed systemic reaction, which they thought was carpal tunnel. Had to wear wrist braces, numbness and pain from neck to hands, hands falling asleep, making it hard to rest, general feeling terrible. Took another 9 months to feel 'normal' again.
Depakote = was fine, except after several years developed huge extremely painful sores in mouth that were large and lasted a month. As soon as they would go away, more would show up. Turned out a dental hygenist (thank god) looked up Depakote and Wellbutrin and they both can cause these miserable mouth sores. Went back on lithium.
Lamictal = tried it but made me very dizzy and nauseous daily even after a few months. Went back on lithium.
Was given Respideral but never tried it.
Abilify = have tried it before and didn't have reaction so will take that as needed for psychotic symptoms. For when I start feeling 'good'. Too happy, too productive, too much writing, too little sleep etc. It's great starting to get manic, it sucks when it goes too far.


  1. Thanks for sharing this. It's really interesting to hear about real people's experience of meds instead of patronising crap from psychiatrists.
    Thank you.

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  7. There are more. Recently going over psychiatric records revealed more attempts at meds that made me so sick, had to discontinue.